Have you ever wanted to try a juice cleanse, but were unsure which one to choose, for how long to cleanse and if the results are even worth it?
We at Provoke have tried and tested three different Queensland cleanse companies just for you. See how each of us went, if we made it through and what each of our cleanse results were.
6am – Juice delivery guy is banging on my door. Crap. That’s today? I knew I should have had that “last supper” bowl of spag bol last night. And why the heck did I do grocery shopping yesterday? Even worse, the choc-bottomed scotch fingers were on sale so I know they are sitting in my cupboard ready to laugh at me and my liquid diet for the next three days.
First juice down the hatch. It’s surprisingly delicious. I had recently taken to having lemon water first thing in the morning and this tastes just like that, only black. Who knew you could drink charcoal? I do notice as I’m feeding my toddler her delicious, cheesy, scrambled egg breakfast that I have the bad habit of finishing off whatever she doesn’t eat (usually 80% of the meal). I stop myself this time, but I don’t enjoy doing it.
8:00am – Confession. I am not the girl who jumped on the kale bandwagon. I’ve never tasted the stuff. Juice two (which actually has more of a smoothie consistency) looks to be packed with it. As I suspected, I don’t like kale.
9:30am – MUST HAVE COFFEE!
10:30am – Juice three is beetroot, spinach, carrot, celery, cucumber, lettuce, kale, parsley. With this grocery list of ingredients it’s obvious why I’m not hungry at all.
12:30pm – The in-laws arrive and we’re booked in for lunch at my husband’s hotel. I kid you not, nachos and chicken wings are my all-time favourites and they are BOTH on the specials board. Torture. I have my juice lunch and while the taste is okay, I definitely miss chewing. I don’t recommend going out to lunch while you’re on a Juice Cleanse.
I don’t recommend going out to lunch while you’re on a Juice Cleanse.
3pm – This is usually the point in my day when the sugar cravings hit. Today though, nothing. No craving. Don’t get me wrong, I am still coming to terms with the fact that these juices are it for three days, but this is definitely a little first-day win. The Zing juice I’ve just polished off is the best one so far and there is definitely some churning going on in my stomach. Not the scary must-stay-home kind or the I-could-eat-a-horse kind, but something is certainly working down there.
6pm – This would usually be dinner time. After feeding my daughter, I would normally sit down to a bigger-than-necessary feed of whatever I threw in the slow cooker that morning. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to order a large pepperoni pizza just out of defiance, but tonight it’s juice number six. Knowing that I still have two more juices to polish off before bed is a little daunting. That’s a lot of liquid for a little bladder.
8pm – Hands down the Juice of the Day! For my cleanse, the Pressed Juices nutritionist I spoke with recommended the Fig and Pepita Mylk for my evening drink. I’ll be looking forward to this one tomorrow.
9:30pm – I had been excited for juice eight after being told I could heat it slightly. In my mind, I could pretend it was a microwave meal with none of the plasticy taste. I had ordered the Slippery Elm with alkaline water, licorice root, marshmallow root, chia seeds, slippery elm bark powder and cinnamon. Granted that I picked it only because I saw the word marshmallow, this ended up being the perfect night-time tonic similar to a chai tea.
10pm Off to bed. I’m not hungry, but I definitely spent a lot of the day pining for foods I couldn’t eat. I’m hoping by tomorrow my head will be in the game as it has been very obvious that this cleanse will be a mind battle for me.
6am – Oh yeah, no food again today. Juice one down the hatch.
8am – Arrive at work after observing a minutes silence when driving past my usual coffee spot. I find the second juice of the day the most filling, like a breakfast substitute, so I’m happy to tuck into it as I settle in for a day behind the desk.
10:30am – I’m pretty angry with the juice cleanse now. I’m sure this is all part of it, cleansing the mind and the body, so hopefully all this nothing-to-chew anger is being exorcised by juice number three. I was warned day two would likely be the most difficult.
12:30pm – 4pm – Juice, juice, juice. No hunger, but lots of anger.
5:30pm – Arrive home from work to a very rare child-free night. Usually, this would mean ordering take-away, busting out the box of Chicken Crimpy and just gorging while telling myself, “you’ve earned this”. For the first time today I’m glad the only option is juice. I’m getting married in two weeks, the time for pizza is definitely not now. Drink up.
7pm – I can feel there is some definite “cleanse” brewing in my stomach. Enough said.
9pm – A warm juice eight settles my stomach and I head off to bed.
6am – Best. Sleep. Ever. I must know which juice ingredient is behind this! More than happy to knock back my morning brew if it means some decent shut eye again tonight. Feeling lighter this morning, physically and mentally.
8am – Picking up juice two for the day, I’ve realised much of yesterday’s anger seems to have gone and juicing has become a bit of a routine. I love routine.
10:30am – 2pm – Juice, juice. Work, work. Am noticing that my tummy feels far less settled today and am finding myself preparing for some kind of final cleanse!
Toddler asleep, tomorrow’s dinner in the cooker, house clean and I’m not even crawling towards my bed like a zombie mother.
4pm – I decide to drink my new favourite juice, the Zing, in the car on the way home. How’s that for multitasking? I’m getting healthy and getting home. I’ve definitely got my bounce back today and am sure I’ll be far less of a storm cloud at home.
6pm – Without a doubt, I’m feeling more calm than I have in months. In between caring for a one-year-old, working, and planning a wedding & honeymoon I haven’t had much time to focus on me. This cleanse has certainly allowed me that time and it’s paying off big time in the brain.
8pm – Toddler asleep, tomorrow’s dinner in the cooker, house clean and I’m not even crawling towards my bed like a zombie mother. On to my second last juice.
9:30pm – It’s the final juice now (must be sung in Swedish rock band Europe style for full effect). I actually find myself savouring this last juice, sad to see it go after we’ve spent so much time together these past three days. If you’d asked me on day one, I would have told you exactly where you could shove it. I guess they got me good with this whole rejuvenation process.
Less bloated – tick; clearer skin – big tick; increased vitality – absolutely! A healthier approach to food – heck yes. In fact, a healthier approach to everything. Being so focussed on my health for three days saw me doing the little things that are usually first to fall off my busy agenda. I took care of my skin with a rejuvenating face mask. I drank plenty of water (which is still important even though you’re downing all that juice) and I even sorted out my bedroom and work desks. The biggest lightbulb moment for me during this cleanse is that in cleansing your body, your mind also gets a clearing and in maintaining health long-term, both are equally as important. Oh, and my first day off the cleanse I drove straight past my coffee spot without a second thought!